Top 10 AML Pilots to watch

This is not another top 10 list of the best pilots in AML. Miner has already got that covered and I wouldn't dream of butting in. This is the list of the guys who are must see this season. And believe me skill is way down on the list of reasons. Starting with:


10. bhang

Since bhang has already won the last 23 pro titles with Intrepid playing in AML is hardly going to strech him. So the question is not how is he going to perform in his games, but what else is he doing? While 1% of his brain is going 8-0 vs Hit-N-Run what's the other 99% doing? So what we need is a bhangCam. Surely he must be up to something? Forget about the bang bus, from now on it's all all about the bhangCam.


9. Hattrick

It'll be interesting when people find out who this guy is. Think AnalIntruder with aim.


8. A.W.O.L

This is not about awol, rather than what happens around him. All he has to do is play and the trolls start to fill up spec. Such hate, but makes for good logs


7. DeathKnight

DK is the absolute definition of a choker. When things are going good then dk will play well, in fact at this very moment in time Miner has dk ranked as the #1 player in all of AML. But when things start to get a little tough then dk goes postal. He's never been able to handle the big games. So when Heaven are in the playoffs make sure you're speccing dk. And the thors are always good for a couple of chucks.


6. Tritoch

Lets all sit back for a moment and consider BUNNER. My how we laugh. BUNNER VICTA STRENGTH AND HONOUR and so forth. Who cares if they never win beause we are all in spec holding our sides less they split due to the hilarity of it all. But there's a dark heart deep beneath BUNNER and it's name is Tritoch. At least once a season a BUNNER game will turn into the Blair Witch Project as Tritoch will hunt down the opposition one by one turning the arena into a bloodbath. There's a case for calling Tritoch the best player in AML and now and again he likes to show you why.


5. Spirant

Sometimes you feel sorry for poor little spriant and his poort little brain. He says we are all jealous of his skill after his playing for only 3 months. But, we say, you fucking suck. Ah ha, he says. that's becuase I don't care. Then why, we retort, have you signed up a bunch of pro ringers to win AML. Well you see, he responds, that's because .... um ...... well, it's .... and then it happens. His brain stops working. He puts on his favourite trench coat, grabs his Dad's rifle and heads off to the nearest school. I'm guessing somewhere around Round 5.


4. AnalIntrduer

Some players have interesting styles, but anal is on another planet. In AnalLand you never see another player, you have to be at least 4 screens behind the action. In AnalLand it doesn't matter where you shoot bombs as long as you shoot them and keep shooting them until your lanc has filled the whole universe with little bouncing bombs of happiness. Of course this means that in AnalLand you will go 0-3 in under five minutes. But in AnalLand that doesn't matter. Because in one game every four seasons it'll all come together. The bounces will go your way and you'll finish 10-0. This isn't league play, this is performance art.


3. ZDeathX

If there's anyone who is genuinly bipolar in real-life then it's ZDX. Like dk when things are going his way then he's fine, but if the slightest tiniest little thing goes wrong he turns into a dribbling mental case. Out comes the rockets and it like watching your ADD suffering 5 year old nephew after a six pack of Pepsi. Now most people would perhaps be concerned to watch a fellow AML'er battle with deep rooted mental problems. Not me. I sit in spec and poke him with a virtual stick. I suggest you all do the same.


2. Don Cherry

One word; Scanners. You know it's going to happen. The eyes bug out, the head starts to jiggle, then wobble, then vibrate and BANG it's a brain facial for everyone in a ten foot radius. Same thing for our little cloaking friend Donnie C. You know it's going to happen, the only question is when. The fact that Sumi is now his squad captain only means it'll be a lot quicker than when he was on Ferrum. Don't miss it., you'll kill yourself if you do. Just like Spirant will in Round 5.


1. FUCKSTORM

FUCKSTORM is the man in the white suit. You've all seen the Simpsons episode I'm talking about. When Marge buys a pretzel franchise and it ends with the Maifia and Yakuza in a pitch battle on the front garden. And there he is, the man in the white suit. He's just standing there doing nothing. But you know, he's just about to do something and it's going to be great. That's FUCKSTORM. He's been standing there for 3 seasons now. This is the moment he's going to do it. Homer missed the man in the white suit, don't miss FUCKSTORM. But, you say, FUCKSTORM isn't on Alc's roster this season. But, I reply, that's when he's at his most dangerous.