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Weekend Schedule

Here's all of this weekend's game times, along with the MR point spread. All games will be played on Sunday unless stated otherwise. All times are in EST.


Pro Bowl 17 Game 2

Assassins vs EGO @ 5pm (ass by 2.5)
(ass lead series 1-0)


IML Playoffs Round 1

ReDS vs Disavowed @ 4pm (dis by 0.5)
ElementalForces vs Van Buren @ 4pm (ef by 0.5)


AML Playoffs Round 1

StarFire Academy vs ReDS-AML @ 5pm Saturday (even)

Alcoholism vs Secret @ 4pm (alc by 1.0)

Externals vs AMLlamasery @ 4pm (even)

Hitlist vs Warlords @ 10pm (wl by 2.0)

AML Season 13 Quarterfinals Predictions

The playoffs are here in what might be the most open AML season ever. Looks like Mizerie's uparrow rating system (UPRS) has proven successful. It's pretty easy, anyone who taps the uparrow key even once during a game gets a +10.00 rating and thrown out of the league. The rating system has killed the old playing style of AML. It used to be three scrubs would fly around randomly and let their ringer do all the work. Now every game is eight scrubs flying round randomly waiting for overtime.

Eight squads managed to endure this excitement week after week to make the AML playoffs and the Vorbometer is back once again to tell you what to think. How have you managed without me?


Alcoholism vs Secret
Secret are the new No Data of AML. Eurolaggers, lobbers, deep roster, good regular season team, chokers in the playoffs.

Alc are a one man team. They are led on the field and off the field by the living God known simply as cirrhosis. I have no idea how the ratings panel missed this guy, he should be starting in Pro. In fact, the staff should make another league above Pro. Then make another league above that one for cirrhosis to display his godlike powers to the thousands of adoring fans in the spec freq. This is a man (I say man, only because 'God' seems inadequate) who can dominate a game while sitting in spec, can sub in and go 12-0 yet manage to share those kills among his team-mates so it looks like he really went 1-1. Makes the Jesus loaves and fishes thing look like a cheap conjuring trick.

Secret have no chance. In fact just showing up would be an insult to the legend that is cirrhosis.

Vorbometer: 12-0 Alcoholism
Key players: cirrhosis (alc)
Watch out for: cirrhosis, who else?


Externals vs AMLlamasery
$$$ Match of the Week $$$

A lot of people think that Llamasery is a cult, but it's even worse than that. They're all zombies. You'd of thought their kill macro would've been a dead giveaway:

"Brains Brains Brains Brains Brains %killed Brains Brains"

It doesn't matter what their opponents try to do, they just keep slowly lumbering forward. You know you're going to get eaten eventually. No matter what pre-game plans you've drawn up, the inevitability of it all just drives you mad and after 40 minutes of holding out at 0-0 you give up and you're zombie food. Jocker can fire as many emps as he likes, it's not going to help. It's hard to MVP when Suppoko is sucking your brains out through your nostrils.

Vorbometer: 8-6 AMLlamasery
Key players: Jocker (ext), o'doylerules (llamas)
Watch out for: Brains!


Hitlist vs Warlords
Lets kill the myth right now that Warlords are head and shoulders above everyone else in AML this season. Warlords aren't that good. Really, they're not. I know they've only lost one game all season, but that doesn't matter. Acidreign finished the regular season 16-1 and the top rated AML pilot. I've no idea how though as he can't aim. They always have at least one slot in every game for their spider pilots as it's always handy to have a cloaker three screens away from the action and Mizerie could get himself isolated in Tiananmen Square during The National Whole Population of China Stands in Tiananmen Square Day.

After saying that they do do two things really well (everyone should construct a sentence where you can fit 'do do' in). Those are being able to play in space and maintain separation between themselves and their opponents. The other thing they do well is back each other up. Against most AML squads this season that has been enough to win and has brought them this far, but if a team can put pressure on them through a full 45 minute game I think they'll crack.

Luckily they're playing Hitlist on Sunday who couldn't exert pressure if their very lives depended on it. They played Alc last Sunday and managed to while away the majority of the match hiding in a box. I heard that Osama Bin Laden took time out from his busy schedule to spec some Premier League last weekend and was heard to say "Damn, I thought I was a chickenshit hiding fuck, but Hitlist take the biscuit. Death to America."

I don't think Warlords are going to make it to the finals. Some squad is going to blow them out, but it's not going to be Hitlist.

Vorbometer: 10-5 Walords
Key players: Miz (WL), Geek (HL)
Watch out for: The spec freq in pre-game guessing which box Hitlist are going to hide in for the first twenty minutes of the match.


StarFire Academy vs ReDS-AML
I do have respect for Solar Hydro as a person and as a squad captain so I do not think that he is cheating, but quite frankly I'm sick of SFA and their 'Amazing Lag'. I've played them twice this season and have had to endure unholy tankage, people quite happily chugging along firing bombs and bullets after taking an emp or three and the clincher - chasing someone who's red then watching them escape by flying through a wall.

Now every squad has someone like this on their roster and you just have to live with it. Some, mostly Euro-based, squads may have two. It's not nice but you can work with it. All four of SFA's regular starters and their first two sub choices are like this. It's just not funny anymore knowing that you have to do three times the damage that SFA do just to stay even and if you do ever get any of them in trouble they can just sub in another lag monster for more fun and games.

If I was ReDS I would just let 5ass go on an AnalIntruder-like random lanc bombing rampage and just hope that speed, vT or whoever spikes onto one or two of them. It's the only chance they've got.

Vorbometer: 12-6 StarFire Academy
Key Players: vT (SFA), 5ass (ReDS)
Watch out for: The greatest display of tanking since Superman 3, you know, when he moved all those supertankers into the middle of the ocean. That was some great tanking.

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

AML Rankings

(what follows is an excerpt from my forthcoming book, "Lag, Lies and Love. The Victimise story". It is a work of fiction and any similarity to any individuals, living or dead, is purely coincidental.)


Well the AML rankings are out. Some are right, some are wrong. You're never going to make everyone happy, but apart from a few obvious howlers (falsehood) I think the rankers did a pretty good job considering the amount of people they had to rank. And what of those rankers? Some of them have already revealed themselves, some of them are still in the shadows.

So what criteria do you need to become an AML ranker? A good knowledge of Premier League is a given. A fair and balanced approach to assessing players is also essential. The rankers must also look past any problems they have had with individual players and squads in the past. Also high up on the list is the ability to see beyond your own place in AML. I'm guessing some of those rankers are AML pilots and AML squad captains. Some might even be AML staff members. It must be hard to rate yourself, or your squad, out of AML. To be picked as an AML ranker you must be trusted to make your decisions based purely the skill level of the pilot's ability and no other reason.

What would happen if a ranker decided to abuse his position and fix the rankings and manipulate the rankers for his own personal gain? What follows is what I think would happen if this occurred. For the sake of narrational flow I've decided to call this fictional ranker 'DeathKnight'.

---

now remember everyone yall must rank me 0.1 :)

Well any info needed from me about me i will gladly discuss here.

Ok just looked at the whole rankings bit. Looks pretty much like what i had ranked...except for Haz-mat being a 2.1 rofl are you guys insane :P Only thing im thinking is before you post that to the public that you figure out who you are going to grandfather and allow to stay in AML out of the reds and yellows and post that with the rankings (with whatever reasons and such with it) You have already talked to me in Private so you know how i feel about this situation miz. So lets get this to the public so that they stop bitching about the rankings :)

Well its the same for me as fck it. If i am forced out of AML before i wish to go then i will just retire from SS and be done with it. I have a long list of reasons on why i do not wish to go to a more competitive league atm. 1) AML is the only league that you can play and have a laid back style of play. 2) I do not have the time to practice and keep myself on top of my game for IML play. 3) i have played IML with United and if it wasnt for having friends on my team i would not have had any fun at all. I just dont have the energy to try and be competitive in a higher league because of all the crap i have to deal with in life. You guys consider it slumming in AML but to me its just where i am supposed to be. Most everyone believes i am too good for AML but who are they to judge me and tell me where i should play in a video game. So thats all i have to say if everyone says force me up i guess ill say goodbye here too.

Pushead thats your biased opinion from someone who isnt even playing AML. Like i said before its AML or nothing for me. If you guys decide to choose to move me up then you will lose one of the most active players and this game will continue to barrel roll into oblivion. This is the first time i have ever heard of a video game where people cannot play where they want to play and i think its total BS. I never gave a rats ass if pros played AML cause i still played regardless. Also pus you dont even know the whole situation and you avoid the facts. DAW brought my son into things so i retaliated with something just as low. I never disrespected my squaddies and you can ask them all that. I didnt throw out EFs chances at playoffs because the people who showed to the game all agreed on the turreting scheme. So before you jump to conclusions and assume anything MAYBE you should get your facts straight. If it seems im a little pissed off about this well fuck i am cause noone should tell me where i want to play in a game i have spent countless hours in since i began years ago. Also if we are voting people to move up i say Pushead has to move up to Pro and Morphine has to also move up to pro i believe they are too good for IML and should move up. You cannot do this to me and not apply the rule to everyone. And if we are voting on me we must vote on every player in AML and IML.

Also Miz i would like your answer on my situation today if possible. You know how everyone is going to vote even i could tell you that. I have enough enemies to know people will vote me up regardless of how my situation is. So give me an answer today so i can do what i need to do.

no because your not being forced up to pro like i said i vote you pro so go now. Also my comments to your internet girlfriend were only issued AFTER she stuck her nose into business that was not her own so she deserved it. That right there shows your biasness towards me because you defend your girl from me. And who else is being forced out that i dont agree with...hmmm fck it...i dont think he should be forced out either. Scythe and krellin i dont believe they should be removed. There are a bunch of others i dont think should be moved because to me they are all AML players. REGARDLESS Of skill level. Also your WoW analogy is moot too because i play city of heroes and its the same thing. I already have 2 maxed out level characters with 2 others almost there. I know fighting level 1 guys when im level 50 is pointless but nonetheless its still fun rounding up 100 of em and then blowing them all up in 1 hit. I am an AML player regardless of what anyone thinks or feels of me. When i feel i am ready to move up to IML i will. Its my choice and my decision and NOONE has the right to tell me otherwise. I honestly dont give a rats ass how people rate me. Shit i rated myself higher than the avg people gave me. I know i can play in the higher leagues and probably hold my own. The point is I DONT WANT TO! AML is more competitive and the games are alot more exciting. ANYTHING can happen in AML but IML and pro have the same game every weekend. Get 4 people in warbirds...lob till someone dies...run out clock. BORING. Like i said if Miz tells me sorry no AML for you Goodbye and Good luck with SS. You will only see me on to chat from then on in and then HOORAY everyone will be happy that DK no longer plays SS.

your comments continue to show bias towards your hatred for me. I have no pity for people who kill themselves. I have had 2 family members kill themselves and they took the pussy way out so my family is better off without them. Help my case how? They wont get moved up cause they "are not as good" but people only say im good cause they dislike me. Its seen over and over again. The people who hate me say move up out of spite the people who know me well enough say let him be where he wants to be and the people who have no tie to me whatsoever say what really counts. Every single person on this panel knows me in some way or another. I wont say that everyone of you hate me but im sure some do. If i was being voted on by people i dont know in any way shape or form i would prolly be alot calmer about this but its obvious bias in every which way you look at it. Either bias towards me or against me its still bias. And you say cause i have been on EF for only two seasons? how about the 7 other seasons i was in AML? Do those not count. 3 for -BlitZed- as i recall. OX vic several other teams. I have been in AML for a long time and this subject wouldnt even come up if i didnt play for United in IML. Now people claim OH HE HAS IML XP BURN HIM BURN HIM. Its pathetic. Now pushead you have already stated how you felt and honestly i dont care you word means nothing to me. Ill wait to see what miz has to say.

which would allow a total of like what 16 IML caliber players in the league. Which would solve everyones problems. So that the people who want to stay AML can. So that means a team like EF can have me but not five0 or Narchs could keep scythe krellin or tertain. It keeps it fair and everyone would get what they want. I already know people against me will say this is still unfair but this is a good idea posted by someone who hasnt stepped into the BS that has been going on between me and my haters.

mauler but in deists case he doesnt have a problem moving up because he has the time to compete and a higher league setting. my work schedule does not allow me to squadprac with my team because i am never able to be on when they are. I work 5PM-5AM EST Weds,thurs,fri,sat. That leaves me enough time on sundays to prac a bit before match and then play. If i were to move up to IML i would not be able to stay on top to stay competitive with the other players because i dont have this extra time. AML allows me to play and have fun without having to worry about "OMG i didnt practice im going to suck" or getting benched because i didnt practice. Think about football for a second. If i didnt practice do you think any coach in the NFL would play me just because im good? No i would be sent down to AAA football where i could play with less restrictions. Im not denying that i have the capability to play in a higher league im saying that i would not be able to practice with my team, establish any kind of teamwork, or to have fun without having to worry about screwing up. At least in AML with the teams i have been on or played against (with the exceptions of narchs this season) i have been able to have fun in matches and continue playing this game as i always have. Yes im a prick. Yes i do fling shit at people when they fling shit at me and i will get down and dirty if i need to. People who see past my trashing can see the real me which alot of people do know. I tried to be civil to pushead and honestly i cant stand him anymore because he doesnt know how to keep his nose out of conversations that do not concern him. I also did not know Miz that you wanted this to be a continuous ranking panel. I thought it was a one-time deal. That changes perspectives a bit. Well as i said before its all up to you Miz. Ill respect whatever you deicide.

well explain to me when i have to sleep 8 hours each day where i have time to play before 5PM? i get home at 6AM and have to leave by 4PM which gives me 2 hours to do whatever i need to do and its usually to eat and shower. Also in CoH it takes about 3 hours to gain 6 levels so going from 1 to 50 is not difficult at all. You say that no team has a chance when i play so how come EF did not win AML? Im done trying to explain myself to people when noone will understand because they do not know me in real life. If yall want to force me out of AML and have me quit thats fine. Im sure i could use the spare time on sundays to do other things. I for one have many many people who are pissed off at my being forced out and they are also upset that they have no say in whether i should be forced out or not. 90% of them say it isnt fair and has nothing to do with my skill level. They enjoy me being in the league and they enjoy my company as one of their fellow AMLers. Im sorry if my playing AML is going to make you have nothing to do with this panel... again your like pushead and taking the pussy way out. Nothing personal of course. None of you know how my life is and how i can or cant dedicate time to playing right. You made the point clear enough. I play AML because i dont have to try. It doesnt matter if i have a bad game or not because im still with my team. In IML i would be expected to compete hard every game and not just fool around when i feel like it. I do not have the capability to do that at this moment. Also i said before i DO plan on moving up its just not the right time for me.

Well then i guess that is that if Miz decides to force me out. I enjoyed my time here in subspace and ill wish you all good luck in the future. Im sick of all the DK haters because 95% of the people who want me to move up hate me in some way. IE Pushead, fearer, scythe, krellin, etc etc etc. The people who want me to stay unfortunatly have no voice in AML as they are not even viewed as decent players but if you want i will start a petition here and have all the people i know want me to stay respond on it. If you all want to be total pricks then so be it. BTW pushead i didnt know smiley faces meant i was insulting people you idiotic excuse for a mammal. Savage i did not say i do not prac. I said i do not prac with my own team. Its nice to have mix practices but i never get to practice with stem techno sky or any of the other people im teamed with. So how can i get teamwork within my squad as a squad like Warlords who i always see praccing with each other or other teams. Prac stats mean nothing when i practice vs people like haz-mat and chief.

i know you werent attacking me i didnt take it that way i was just showing my side of it. Yes there are tons of people who are like deist. But two players in particular me and fckit have a problem moving up. Its cases like ours that should be looked into. If people want to go up fine its what they want but forcing people who dont want to go who have played AML almost their entire career is wrong. We dont stop people who are not ranked good enough for IML to move up do we? So why should we do the same for the higher ranked AML players. I was never a Pro player who dropped down to AML to slum it up. Im just a good AML who has never left and does not want to go. I wish i could have you guys understand my point of view.

It is always a fact that AML will never be noobie friendly due to the fact that there are so many middle players in AML. A true noobie to me is a player like haz-mat who couldnt hold his own in a match for more than 5 mins without dying. People like that should not even be playing AML till they get better. Hell it tooks me seasons upon seasons to learn how to play. I came from alpha remember? Everyone needs to agree on what a noobie is. Do you consider Gazelle from Warlords a newbie or Mitsubishi from hitlist a newbie? Almost all of AML is continuously the same people playing on different teams over and over. I have played against almost everyone in AML at one point or another. Savage is right if your going to grandfather someone like bukkwild (who is also a player who can change the outcome for any team) then you cannot say oh well DK cant cause he is too good. Putting the reason down that ive only been on EF for 2 seasons is moot because if given the chance ill stay on EF this season and the next and the next. If and when we decide to move up ill go with them. You should look at how many of the people being forced up are adament on staying AML. I count 2. Me and fckit. Everyone else doesnt mind moving up. So there MUST be reasons outside of this panel that is causing the two of us not to want to go IML. I think you should have a talk with all the people you may be forcing up and asking them how they feel about it. Grandfather the ones who want to stay above all else. That will make everyone happy because i know krellin scythe and others will follow narchs wherever they go.

Weekend Results

ProBowl 15 Game 3

Assassins bt Betrayal 5-4 after OT
MVP: Inno (Bet) 1-1, 1 FR (+111)
LVP: Three (Bet) 0-2, 1 assist, 4 FR (-128)
Game Time: 48:51
Box Score - Game Log
(Assassins win the series 2-1 and are Pro League Champions)


AML Semi Finals

Llamasery bt ElementalForces 8-7 in OT
MVP: Lord Schnitzel (llamas) 3-1, 3 FR (+131)
LVP: mOuSeR (EF) 0-2, 2 assists, 3 FR (-131)
Game Time: 49:57
Box Score - Game log

StarFire Elite bt NightBane 4-2 in OT
MVP: Lensman (SFE) 1-0 (+115)
LVP: Peanut (NB) 1-2, 3 FR (-109)
Game Time: 47:53
Box Score - Game Log


The AML Finals, played over the best of three games, starts this Sunday at 3pm EST. At least two games will be played. If a third game is needed it will probably be played the following Sunday. For more info check out the Premier League website.

Weekend Schedule

Here's all of Sundays games and the MR point spread. All times are in EST.


ProBowl 15 Game 3

Betrayal vs Assassins @ 6.30pm (even)
(series tied 1-1)


AML Semi Finals

ElementalForces vs Llamasery @ 4pm (llamas by 2.5)

StarFire Elite vs NightBane @ 5pm (SFE by 3.0)

For more info and all the latest league news check out the Premier League website.

AML Semi Finals Quick Predictions

Well it's like this...

I just finished the semi final predictions and was copy and pasting them into the blog when my PC froze up. Couldn't do anything to fix it, had to reboot and it was bye bye predicts =(

So instead of re-writing them, which I'm fucked if I'm going to do, you're only going to get this summery of what I wrote:


Llamasery vs ElementalForces

Tight game here, with llamas trying to keep their shape against EF's more aggressive style. The key here may be Sky0ne's Strong Bad style computer explosion. Without that control from spec we could see another performance like the NB loss from EF as ego's run unchecked, and if it's one thing EF have got in spades it's unchecked egos. Llamas to just sneak it in a very tight low scorer. And yes I know last week I said whoever won the EF/BN game would be my pick to win it all. In my original predictions I spent a log time going over this in detail and why I could still choose llamas. You'll just have to take my word that I had very good arguements.
Quickometer: 3-2 Llamasery


NightBane vs StarFire Elite

Another tight game. SFE have the teamwork, NB have the individual skill. This match is going to be decided on one thing: lag. Both these squads have laggers falling out of their asses. The difference between them though is that NB's laggers usually end up in spec while SFE's laggers will stay in and tank. Another point to bare in mind is that both of these teams have choked before deep into the playoffs when they were expected to win and I expect this game will be decided on a choke by someone here. As NB seem to be the team of density right now I'll go with them to win it in another tight one with MfA choking to lose it for the StarFire Elities.
Quickometer: 8-6 NightBane


As these are pretty shitty predicts I'm going to do something extra next week as I unveil my first ever Vorbometer Super Bowl predictions. Football predictions with subspace analogies. Does it get any better than that?

Freaky Predicts

Freakmonger has put up some AML predictions on his subspace website. You can read them here.

The World According to Vorbis

I've decided to start another blog for my mindless non-subspace related ramblings. It's called Sick Sad World and you can check it out here.

AML semi final predictions up tomorrow.